How's Stat? (Glass Half Full)

The most popular event in global sport, 

enhanced by the sight of a Scottish support.

A proud Tartan Army in kilted attire,

passionate fans, with a burning desire

to be competitive against the best,

from the North, South, East and West,

to lift the Rimet and bask in the glory,

but reality paints a different story.

First qualified in '54

(we'd actually made it the tournament before,

but decided against sending a team,

no doubt shattering many a dream).

A journey to Switzerland, on a high,

to meet Austria, (the Czechs*) and Uruguay.

After game one, the manager left.

Knocked out after two, the fans bereft.

A poor performance, second rate,

goals scored - nil; goals against - eight.

Four years on, full of expectations,

it was off to Sweden with all the Home Nations.

Yugoslavia took the lead;

Murray equalised in our hour of need.

A competitive 1-1 draw procured,

the first World Cup point, for Scotland, secured.

With two games to go, we had our chance,

but narrowly lost out to Paraguay and France.

The 1960s passed us by,

not good enough to qualify,

but we had our little slice of heaven,

when trouncing the holders in '67.

So then it was in '74,

we came knocking on the door.

West Germany hosted our finest showing,

with three results, described as glowing.

Two-nil v Zaire, and two games drawn

against the might of Brazil and Yugoslavian brawn.

Sent home as the only unbeaten team,

an unfortunate end, so it would seem.

Forward to the summer of '78,

where a couple of minnows would await.

Nothing but an opening win would do,

but we suffered a 3-1 loss to Peru,

followed by a 1-1 draw with Iran;

this wasn't Ally's Argentine plan.

A single point wasn't much,

but we could progress, by beating the Dutch.

A Scottish nation, as a whole,

celebrated Gemmill's wonder goal.

A 3-2 victory was just not enough;

out again on goal difference, that was tough.

In '82 it was sunny Spain,

when this small nation qualified again.

5-2 v New Zealand, we passed the test

against a team, who weren't adjudged the best.

Then a "toe poke" from Narey was enjoyed,

but that just got the Brazilians annoyed.

Try as we might, we couldn't find more

and the three-time world champions replied with four.

Unabashed, the fans placed their bets

on a win against the Soviets.

Disheartened once more, when the whistle blew,

out on goals scored again, with a hard-fought 2-2.

Wales in '85, and a tragic day,

when the mighty Jock Stein passed away.

Dark clouds above, a nation's mood low,

despite qualification for Mexico.

'86 would be the year

the fans would finally find some cheer.

1-2 v West Germany, post nil-one v the Danes,

was the poorest start to our recent campaigns.

With Uruguay holding us to a nil-nil,

it was home to swallow a bitter pill.

We deservedly earned the right to go

to Italia '90 (and five in a row!)

An opening game, and our chances seemed done;

Scotland nil, Costa Rica one.

A gutsy performance satisfied our needs,

with a 2-1 victory against the Swedes,

that left us with a bit of a hill,

to eke out a draw against Brazil.

But losing one-nil, a goal couldn't be found

to take us to the knockout round.

We didn't make it to '94,

which was won on penalties (by Brazil once more),

but we played the world champs right out of the gate,

with a 1-2 loss at France' 98.

A 1-1 with Norway, and the group was alive,

but three-nil to Morocco, going on five,

meant that 10-man Scotland went home early again:

Goodbye World Cup, Au revoir, amen.

So it's 23 played, with four victories no less,

seven games drawn (you can work out the rest).

Goals for - 25, against - 41,

a story of nearlies, luck there was none.

In eight World Cups we never progressed,

though '74 was arguably the best.

28 years absent from the stage,

a generation of fans, waiting an age.

Bring on North America, 2026,

where we will be back, right in the mix

for the challenge of Haiti in the opening game,

followed by Morocco, and Brazil again.

We can dream big, we're back for more;

this time you'll hear a Tartan Army roar.

(* despite Scotland being drawn in the same group as Czechoslovakia,

the teams did not play each other)

By Jonathan Dickie