Walks Like John Wayne

She gave birth to a baby boy, the biggest there'd ever been
The midwives all remarked that he looked like a healthy teen
Left with a misshaped forehead and a folded over ear
An unfortunate result of forceps delivery, we hear

Journalists attended, as public interest grew
Resulting in a media slot on Loose Women too
With shoulders as wide as Glasgow's River Clyde
It was surprising the birth didn't hurt her
She shed a tear when crowned Woman of the Year
And she got a visit from Norris McWhirter

By Saffron Walden