Boris the Spider 🕷️

There's a spider at home with six legs,

which seems like a bit of a plight;

plus the poor guy is missing at least one eye,

affecting peripheral sight.

Granted, that leaves six or seven,

which should be enough, you'd agree,

so he's really not doing so badly;

he still has the power to see.

I gave him the monicker Boris,

in a nod to the song by The Who;

as knowing he was a boy spider,

I refused to Cash in on Sue.

He hobbles around in the evening

and stares at me with his good eyes;

I'm sure his loss of extremities

isn't something that I should despise.

I was never content with arachnids

running around in my home;

but I feel more at ease with old Boris,

less legs means less likely to roam.

He mainly hangs out in the bathroom,

but sometimes he hides in the hall;

he spins a professional silky web,

which prevents him from suffering a fall.

It's true that he lacks table manners;

at times you should just look away;

he's been on his own for a while, it seems

and he tends to give victims a spray*.

Why do I like this spider, you ask?

To some it may seem somewhat shady;

it's nothing unusual for me, you see,

I'm a single spider lady.

* Regurgitating bastard

By Alan Dickie