which he thought were rather cool,
until he took them on his holidays
and dropped them in the pool.
He fished them out as best he could
and left them in the sun.
They dried out well, but quality
had dropped from ten to one.
Tom Jones sounded 5 years old,
with a voice that hadn't deepened.
Timmy wasn't happy
with this audio much cheapened.
Bublé sounded strangled,
which some say he should have been,
while Springsteen squeeked a song or two
as if he'd burst his spleen.
Elton came off worst of all,
with a voice so much distorted,
you'd put it down to something
that he'd swallowed, shot or snorted.
But through all this there was one track
which sounded just the same.
It was Kate Bush singing Wuthering Heights,
wow or flutter not to blame.
No detrimental audio
could twist these noises more,
than the squirming vocals she pushed out
while writhing on the floor.
So lesson learned, Tim kept the 'phones,
but now his listening pleasure
is the soaring sound of sweet Kate Bush,
our musical national treasure.
By Alan Dickie
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